Patience is a Virtue
Mood:  don't ask
Ok. So now im back to square one.

Things are always the same, and i should just realise now, everything. And I do, for a change, im gonna listen to myself, and trust in my gut. And the lessons i have learned. Selfless love, for me, must not involve me looking for someone.

Patience, Dark Morpheo. Patience.

Everyone I ever may have loved will always leave me, until, it is someone... who i do not know is out to find love in me. I cant keep hurting myself over these things. Alone and Broken no more.

I need a fucking job.
Mood:  rushed
Ive got a week. Or i wont be able to make next months rent. Ive done this before, but i need to get my act in gear. So, heres a note, to YELL AT ME, about getting a job. Places to go, people to see... and I must do it now, within a week. Im such a procrastinator. Im being dumb.

So, summary...
GET A FUCKING JOB NOW!!!

The More I Piece Myself Together...
Mood:  special
Im Growing. And My path seems to unfold before me. I go through so much, but i think its all leading me toward my greater future.

Today, I felt my wings again, growing, and moving, an undescribable feeling. Its another step i think, because through all the pain, something comforting and beautiful is being created. And that is my soul. Should the person I am meant to become, finally finish this phase of his life? Maybe i have found love, maybe i have found hate. What a deciding moment. Or not at all; knowing i may have alot more in my future.

Everything is falling in place, and my future is set. Could all the things ive seen, really be the truth? (i always see the truth...) This could hurt, but at the same time, i could make awesome friends, to help me, through it all. But i know anything i attempt now, will end... saving myself for a future, where my innocence will be needed. Innocence... Hm.

Destiny is such a harsh master. But he does his job well, his all-seeing eye, a beacon from the heavens, guiding every living person (of descent), to their respected ends. Or new beginnings. (oh how, some I know cant wait.) And Fate, is as ruthless at times as D. Mistress Fate, adds change and variance to D's plans. Yet these two do not fight. The co-esxist peacefully... Its a good lesson to learn, but it also can be a good lesson to avoid...

I know ive been blown off my course, only to come back a stronger and more resilliant. And without my numerous, and almost daily diversions, man, that path would be short. Its like a creative winding, a canter of sorts up the road of my life. I could slow down, or i could go faster... but its give and take. Its the way its meant to be. Ever flap of my wings, thats my returning to the path. I think new futures, are bound to come in my immediate futures.

I cant wait.

Ive been hurt so much, but finally, I have a chance?
Mood:  don't ask
I think ive done it, after all ive been through, i may have a chance again at love.

(And I thought I had lost them, forever, I hope this time goes well.)

This person doesnt realise how much they make my heart jump and my spine tingle. Ive only ever felt love like this with two other people, and it makes me question my entire identity. The way they talk, their honest trusting person... Everything., They're really perfect. I know ill prolly never have a relationship with them... its too hard. But even just to see them occasionally, would make my heart want more, and maybe heal the deep-set wounds.

So, they are suppost to come to my place, today,. And I can only hope this will happen, just to make one of my longest dreams come true; Another chance at love. (Not to mention the fact, they now owe me... what i want, before their birthday this weekend.)

*squee* LOL - I can only hope... and if i ever sink low, pray... for what is coming to me :D